BINGO-or Holiday Survival Guide

This time of year we all gather to celebrate and give thanks together with those we love and hold dear. It is a wonderful time of year and I love all of it. But---it is also a time of year when family members can bug you and sometimes even offend you. We all have such fond and loving memories of family events past and sometimes we forget that Uncle Mark talks about politics too much and then falls asleep and Aunt Lorna talks too loud and too much etc.... and we go back home wondering why we love these people and chose to spend time with them.

Several years ago I read an article by Martha Beck that changed the way I look at these get-togethers. Before you go to a family event, think of all the things that will happen there that will bother you and write them on a bingo card. You may not think of anything right at first but they will come. I did this with my sister on the phone last week and it took her a minute and then she starting catching on and did very well. You know what bugs you and it will probably happen. Remember, we have history with these people, we know them and people don't change just because they bug us. Most of the time they don't even know they are doing anything offensive and for those few times when they do know, remember the old saying "He who takes offense when it is intended, is a fool; he who takes offense when none is intended, is less than a fool". Having spent time in both categories, I am well acquainted with the effects and I don't like them. That is why I love playing this little game of BINGO with myself and sometimes I even let Mark in on it, so when I get to cross something off of my BINGO card, he and I can exchange knowing looks and laughs. So instead of getting bothered and wasting time thinking about it, I get excited to cross it off my mental card and I laugh to myself. I am winning my game and I love to win (Sequence anyone?) Try it this year and let me know if it works for you. And just so you all know, I have been practicing my "soft-talking", so you may not get to cross that one off this year.

Then again. . . . . . . here's to family history and BLACKOUT!