Yesterday I spent the whole day with Aunt Ethel at her apartment at the retirement center. Janis (my cousin) asked me to go Friday and Monday and take care of her. I was happy to go but somewhat worried as I have a strong sense of smell, an overactive gag reflex, and a weak stomach. I thought of when I was Relief Society President and had to give a lovely 97 yr old a shower. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done (then the aid showed up 10 minutes later to do the same thing). But considering that it was Aunt Ethel I wanted to help her and in some small way pay her back for all the wonderful things she did for me.
She was happy to see me and we talked about my life and family for a while. She has a good memory. We looked at photo albums and talked about the pictures. At 11:45 she worried that they weren't bringing lunch fast enough and her hair appointment was at 2:45. She told me little things to do for her. She asked if I would play her little electronic keyboard for her. I played all the popular hymns and I could hear her small but clear soprano voice matching my stronger alto. " ....There is beauty all around, when there's love at home......." She wanted to sing all the verses of that one. Her speaking voice was scratchy but she could still sing. I think we sang duets for about 45 minutes. I loved it. Then we started off for the beauty parlor in the basement. She was worried about being late so we were 20 minutes early and then she didn't want to wait. It was a walker freeway getting down the halls to the parlor. It made me laugh.
After the hair appointment, I started to read Clyde stories. Clyde was her second husband and Otis' cousin. She told me that after Otis and Clyde's wife both died of cancer, she couldn't imagine anyone taking her best friend's place (Clyde's wife) so she married him. She has a large painting of Clyde as a cowboy in the living room and it feels like he is there. I started to read stories of rodeos and WWII bomber planes and we laughed and almost cried as I read them. He was quite the adventurer. After that she looked at me and said "Now what are we going to do" like a little kid ready for the next fun thing to do. She was tired so I put her to bed and sat on the couch and started to think about her.
I have so many wonderful memories of her and her farm in Heyburn, Idaho. I loved going to the farm most summers and riding Jumper and playing in the barn and watching pigs. They always had a dog or two and lots of cats. I loved the old farm house and most of that was how I felt when I was in it. So much love and warmth. She took such good care of me always feeding and fussing about. Of course the main draw to that house was Berkeley (my cousin). He is about 3 years older than me and was always ready for fun and adventure especially water skiing in the Snake. As we got older, he got better looking and when he would come to Fairfield all of a sudden girls were coming out of the woodwork to be my friend. They would even ask him out and he would say no, I want to spend my time with Lorna. He gave me his senior picture and I told everyone that he was my boyfriend. I still have that picture. In college, when I needed to get away and feel loved I would go to Janis' or Aunt Ethel's. I took roommates and boyfriends and she treated them like she loved them too.
A few years ago we took Berkeley's two sons to Lake Powell with us. It was like being with Berkeley. Together they were just like their dad. They thought I was funny talking about their Bishop dad who made them work too hard. Too bad we didn't know our parents when they were teenagers (then again maybe not). It was a gift to be with them.
Just as it was a gift to spend yesterday with Ethel. I don't know how much longer she will be here and next Thursday she will move to Burley to stay with Berkeley and Kelly. Monday might be my last chance to take care of someone who took such good care of me. As I got into bed last night I told Mark, "I don't want to get old". He said " how about worrying about that in 35 years".
1 comment:
You are such a sweet loving woman! Thank you for sharing those memories. I love the part where you guys sang hymns. It reminds me of a Thanksgiving we spent with your family at a church out south and we played and sang hymns around the piano for hours. I've never had so much fun! Your piano ability is a gift to many.
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